What, So What, Now What?

In nursing school, the one thing I remember learning is the reflective model, “What, So what, Now What?” We used to use this reflective models to helps us evaluate a shared experience so that we can identify ways to improve or act. I was watching something that was based around Acts 26:1-11 when Paul was before King Agrippa making his case. And when listening to the video, the man said something that made me remember this reflective skill. He said “Paul always remembered his life before Jesus, how he found Jesus, and what Jesus has done for him. I then began thinking of my life, before God, how I came to God, and what He has done and is doing for me. So today’s blog is about my life.

WHAT: My life before Christ was always just vibes. Parties after parties, doing whatever I wanted, saying whatever I wanted, watching whatever I wanted to watch, consuming whatever I just felt like consuming. I wore whatever I needed to wear without thinking too deep into it. I went to church only for praises and worship and after that that was me done. I prayed once in a while when I needed something. Reading the Bible was never a thought. I deleted my Bible app when I needed space. I walked through life with no proper directions expect the ones I set for myself. I snapped at my closed ones quickly, I stressed when I didn’t need to stressed, I overthought when I didn’t have to…you see, just vibes.

SO WHAT: Then I found Christ and I took everyday step by step. I learnt that you don’t need to stress anymore. I learnt that when you abide in Christ, the directions for your life makes so much sense. I came to realise that there are some things I needed to stop doing, stop saying, stop watching, stop consuming. Things I thought was normal started to feel uncomfortable. Even though I accepted Christ, there were things that I had to learn with time. You see when you accept Christ, there is no rush in being perfect. People expect you to be perfect but don’t let that pressure weigh you. I still did things that in my sight didn’t find any problem with but as time went on, through reading the Bible, through praying and fasting, through fellowship, you start to learn more and then you start to make decisions based on the Bible not what you feel is right.

NOW WHAT: Now I can say I am still growing in Christ. Still trying to be what God wants me to be. Now I just want to be closer to God than ever. I woke up one day and realise, I need to stop certain things and I actually followed through. Before when I had a realisation, I’d question it but now it’s like I just obey because I have to and want to. Once in a while it’s hard, but I have come to understand that when you do what God has asked you to do, that’s where you see His glory, His grace, His power and His love.

What I have learnt through my journey is “you can never force someone to know Christ”. There is this special feeling you have when you seek God for yourself wholeheartedly. I wish I could show you this feeling, or tell you about it but it’s just an inner feeling which I can’t share. Sometimes I feel like people might think this girl is overdoing it but if you could feel what I feel, you would understand. Would I change anything about my process if I had the chance to? Absolutely not. Before I used to think maybe if I knew God a bit quicker, or early in life that would have been amazing but as time goes on, I have become content with all the process and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Today’s blog is for you to reflect on your life. If your life is still what it is, it’s about time your story changed. Paul was always happy to tell people where he came from and where he is now. You should also have a “I remember when I was…” story so you can see the improvements and the level God has brought you to. May God continue to bless you as you grow in Him.

Prayer: Our Heavenly Father we thank you today. We bless your name. God we thank you for bringing us from nothing to something. We thank you for giving us a story. A story that shows your grace in our lives. We are grateful and excited to see where you take us. God give us all a story and help us all build a relationship with you. We bless your name Lord, amen.